Batman or Supercop?
by chalaess
Summary: A conversation with Morelli and then an interrogation from Ranger. What's going on? Since I suck at summaries, you'll have to read to find out...


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone

Replies to people who reviewed my last oneshot (Bleached Batman): Ally, you didn't get credit cause…I dunno. And rinskigoddess, I laughed when I read that because actually having a life in the real world is sort of a requirement for having real life steal me away ;) anyway, I don't have one. I just ran out of good ideas for fanfics for the moment. And I was working on my full length novel…which will hopefully get published once I finish it.

And, as usual, I'm sorry for any OOCness. Joe is quite OOC, unless you're judging him by EOT standards (what was up with that, btw? All of a sudden he had a personality transplant and decided to be all nice and calm? Maybe he was drugged all throughout it…hmmm….), whereupon, his calm acceptance of everything is completely in character. This story isn't very realistic, either, I think, but I just had the idea, so…yeah.

Also, ignore any times that I switch between calling Morelli Joe and Morelli. In this fanfic, I think of Stephanie as thinking about him as Joe, but I think of him as Morelli. So, sometimes my thoughts will slip in and he'll be Morelli instead of Joe. Unlike my other fanfics, this doesn't reflect Stephanie's opinion of him at the moment. It's just me being too lazy to go through and make sure that he's always Joe. Anytime Ranger calls him Morelli though, that's on purpose. Ranger and Morelli aren't on a first name basis.

—

I knocked on Joe's door and then waited. After a moment, the door opened. Joe looked surprised to see me, but smiled and waved me in.

"Hi, Cupcake." Normally, my visits were preceded by a conversation. Not this one though. I figured it would be easier if I just showed up.

I walked in and then looked at him. I could see he was curious what this was about. "Um…" I wasn't sure how to say it. I'd just realized it this morning. I also didn't know what his reaction would be? Would he accept it? Or would he go into annoying Italian-male mode and start ranting and pacing and such? I was hoping for the former. "I don't love you, Joe." I could see that he was surprised. I hurried on. "I mean, I do. But only as a friend. But I don't love you in the way required for us to actually have a real relationship." Plus, I'm in love with some one else.

Apparently, I said this last bit out loud, too, because Joe, who had been eerily calm, suddenly looked angry. But only for a second, because then his cop face slid into face. "Ranger?"

It took me a second to realize he was asking if I was in love with Ranger, and then a moment longer to decide to respond. Slowly, I nodded. "Yes."

He raked a hand over his face, paced away, then came back. It was hard to tell how he was feeling. Definitely agitated. But was he annoyed agitated, or 'I better go warn Ranger to up the security in the Rangeman building' agitated? He looked at me and then sighed. "I guess I knew that, really. Everyone does. I just hoped maybe I was wrong. Because I do love you, Cupcake. Maybe, as you said, not the way needed for us to get married, but definitely I don't want you to leave me for another man." He had looked away for a bit and he now looked back at me. He shook his head. "I hope you realize, though, that you guys won't work out. He's a mercenary and you can't do relationships. You've had a failed marriage, this thing with me, and sort of, the thing with Ranger. If you guys actually had any relationship potential, you'd have done something about the attraction between you guys a long time ago, despite me."

I looked away guiltily, but my attention was drawn back to Joe when he made a sound that was rather like a growl. "_Did_ you guys do something?"

I looked away again. "Look, I don't want to discuss Ranger with you. I just wanted to break this thing off once and for all. For real."

I looked back at him and he glared at me. "Yeah. So you can go sleep with Ranger. Fine, whatever. Just go."

I nodded, knowing this conversation was deteriorating. I wasn't sure why he wasn't yelling right now, but I was pretty sure that, if I didn't leave soon, he would be. I fled.

The next day, I was standing in my apartment's parking lot, staring at my car. Or rather, the remains of said car. Even as I stood looking at the smoking, flaming pile, courtesy of a car bomb that I didn't know the maker of, I heard sirens approaching. Fantastic. Just what I needed. Another Morelli confrontation.

Five minutes later, the car fire was extuingished, leaving black, twisted metal and a terrible smell. Joe and Ranger both walked over to me. Fantastic. Joe looked at Ranger with more than the normal amount of anger. But then he looked at me, then at my ex-car. He shook his head.

"You were right, Cupcake. I really can't deal with this kind of crap anymore." Then he looked at Ranger and snorted. "Good luck." He walked away, and I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or Ranger.

Clearly, Ranger didn't know either, because, after looking after Joe with a curious expression on his face, he turned to me, raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head. I wasn't sure I wanted to explain it, and definitely not now. "Can you give me a ride to the office?"

He nodded. We both got into his truck and he started driving. For a while, I thought he was in his zone, but then he spoke. "What was Morelli talking about?"

I stared at him. He'd never, that I could remember, wanted me to explain Joe before. I thought for a moment, then replied. "Just a conversation we had a while ago."

The corners of his lips tipped upwards. "Who was he saying good luck to? And what about?"

I shrugged. "Not sure. Probably me, because of my car and y—" I caught myself. I definitely didn't want to tell Ranger that part of the conversation had been about mine and Ranger's unlikelihood of having a successful relationship.

To my surprise, Ranger pulled over. I looked around. We weren't at the office. I actually had no clue where we were. I looked at Ranger. "Where are we?"

"What were you going to say?" I didn't answer. "Because of me? Why would Morelli say good luck to you about me?"

"Uh." He was watching me with so much intensity that it was hard to think, let alone try to think of an evasive answer. "Because he and I broke up yesterday ago, and he assumed that it was so I could be with you."

Ranger looked surprised. This, in turn, surprised me. Was it possible that Batman didn't know that I'd broken up with Morelli? It seemed like the kind of thing people would know. He recovered and then spoke slowly, as though choosing his words carefully. "So…was he right?"

"What?" I'd recovered almost instantly from the sight of Ranger being surprised. But now I was back to being totally surprised. That wasn't the question I'd expected from Ranger.

"Did you dump him to be with me?" I looked away and he reached out, gently lifting my chin so my eyes went back to his. "Babe?"

"Not…exactly."

"Babe, do you love me?" That question had me staring at him again.

But in no way did I plan to say yes if he didn't love me back. "In my own way." I felt proud of myself for thinking of that. It was evasive, and it was using his own words against him.

He didn't look amused. "What does that mean?"

Now I was sort of annoyed. What was with the interrogation? "Good question! Why don't you tell me?"

He smiled. "It means yes. I love you too, Babe. I've loved you since you asked if I was alright when I was on the run. Maybe before that. But that's when I knew. Are you and Morelli broken up for real? Or will you be back together again in a few days? I need to know." I couldn't speak. I was just staring at him (I was doing that a lot today. Of course, if I had to choose something to look at for long periods of time, it would definitely be him.) "Babe?"

"Uh…No, we're broken up for real."

He leaned across me and pulled open the glove box department. I looked in. Gun, cuffs, stun gun, and…what was that? He was pulling out a jewelry box. He opened it. "Will you marry me, then?" I blinked. "Please?" That was only the second time I'd ever heard him say please, that I could remember.

I felt a huge smile breaking over my face. This was not what I'd expected when my car exploded this morning. I nodded. "Yes."

He beamed and slipped the diamond ring on my finger. Then he leaned over and kissed me. I was still trying to get my breath back when he started the car.

Apparently, we were close to the office, because we pulled up in front of it only moments later. He looked at me, still, I noticed, smiling hugely. He kissed me again and then, when he pulled back, said "I love you so much."

I still had a huge smile on my face but, if possible, it got bigger. "I love you, too, Ranger."

He was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. "Seeing as how you're my fiancée now, you should call me Ric. Or Ricardo. Or some such thing. But not Ranger." He smiled as he said the word fiancée.

"Ok, Ra—Ric." His smile got bigger.

He looked past me to the office and spoke. "I guess we should go in. Connie and Lula are staring at my truck. Want to tell them or see how quickly the figure it out?"

I thought a moment, then smiled. "Let them figure it out."

Ric (A/N: I'm going to call him Ric from now on, because that's how she'll be thinking of him. If I make a mistake, once again, it's a mistake, not a reflection of how she's thinking about him) nodded and then got out of the car. I watched him walk to the office, enjoying the view. Just before he went in, he looked over his shoulder, giving me a knowing look.

I got out of the truck and followed him in. Connie and Lula looked from him to me. Lula narrowed her eyes. "What's going on?"

I tried to suppress a smile. I don't think I was very successful, though. "Nothing. Connie, do I have any skips?" Ric already had a few folders in his hands, but he wasn't flipping through them. He was watching Connie and Lula.

Connie, too, narrowed her eyes. She gave me and Ric appraising looks, then nodded. "Here you go." She handed them to me.

Lula looked between Ric and I. A huge smile spread over her face. "You slept with Batman, didn't you? I can tell you got some."

Ric and I both shook our heads. Lula looked confused. She was trying to tell if we were lying. "So you got back together with Supercop? Cause you definitely got with _someone_."

"No! I dumped him for real. I told you that."

Connie and Lula were silent for a moment, then Lula spoke again. "Something's different. I'll figure it out."

I just smiled and turned away. I was sort of surprised when Ric wrapped his arm around my waist and walked out with me. I definitely didn't expect him to be the PDA kind of person, but I liked it. I lifted my left hand, giving Connie and Lula a finger-wave as I walked out. I didn't turn my hand, though, the result being that the back of my hand was facing them.

I heard two sharp intakes of breath and knew they'd figured it out. I smiled up at Ric. "I'm going to go talk to them, or they'll kill me."

Ric nodded and dropped a kiss on my lips. "I'll have someone drop off a car." Then he was gone.

I walked back to Connie's desk. Lula spoke as soon as I got there. "When'd this happen? You been holding out on us?"

I shook my head. "He just proposed on the ride over. Well, actually he stopped the truck and then we talked and he proposed."

They asked about Joe and I explained about our conversations, yesterday and today. When I was done, we were all silent for a moment and then they both came over and hugged me and said congratulations and good luck.

Just as they were hugging me, Tank walked into the office. He raised an eyebrow. Then he noticed the ring and smiled. "That explains Ranger's good mood. Congratulations." To my complete surprise, he pulled me into a hug. I just stared at him when he released me. He chuckled and grabbed my left hand and dropped some keys in them. "I'm leaving you with an SUV. Don't blow it up."

He left, getting into another SUV, which pulled away, leaving my SUV. Or, the one I was using. I said goodbye to Connie and Lula then left.

An hour later, I pulled into the parking lot. I had a bunch of garbage covering me, including some sauerkraut in my hair. I brought my skip into the police station and waited while my body receipt got written. As I took it from the person writing it, she gasped.

"You're engaged!"

The police station got completely silent. Everyone was staring at me. Just then, as if on cue, Ric walked into the station. He stopped as he noticed the silence. He gave me a quizzical look, but all was explained to him as Carl walked over to me.

"Who are you marrying? Joe or Ranger?"

Ranger smiled, walking over and bringing his skip with him. "Me."

Carl smiled. "Yes! Thank you! You just got me five hundred bucks!"

I gasped. "What?"

He grinned. "I bet that you'd get engaged to Ranger. Some people were betting on Joe." Carl turned to a cop I didn't know, who, looking horrified, nodded, pulling out his wallet.

The man who had just lost five hundred dollars, looked over at me, and then at Ranger. "Why do _you_ have to marry her?"

Ranger grinned. "You think I'm letting Morelli get her? She's such a catch." As he said this, he pulled a huge wad of sauerkraut out of my hair, flicking it to the ground.

A/N: I hope you liked the ending…I'm not sure I liked it, but I just got the idea for it and thought it was funny. Anyway, the whole thing was sort of just a random idea, but I hope you liked it anyway. :) Please review!


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